A Mid-October Night's Nightmare

I usually don’t talk about my normal nightmares. If something horrific happens in my nightmares, something that will most definitely not happen, then I share them simply because they’re so out there. But the normal ones, the ones that have potential to happen – those I usually keep to myself. This time, I have decided to share it because there’s a lesson behind it. And we all like lessons.

Last night, I spent half the evening balling my eyes out – all in my nightmare. I was home again, in Maryland or North Carolina – I couldn’t tell – and I had realized that my London life was over. I had accomplished nothing, I had seen nothing, I had not even come close to doing all the things I had on my list. I didn’t travel anywhere while I was there. I didn’t find my happy-ever-after ending. It was basically an awful nightmare. Reverse culture shock hit me harder than I could have ever imagined. I did not want to be where I was anymore. All I wanted to do was go back home, to London. But for some reason, that wasn’t possible. Something was standing in my way of coming back to London. Before I could figure that out, I had two visits from people I hadn’t seen in years. I can’t remember who the first was, but the second I do. I don’t know why she was one of my visitors, but she came to the door with her mom and someone else who I didn’t know. And the door wasn’t the door to my home even though I was with my whole family. (I know, you are probably even more confused than I am at this point, so I apologize and I applaud you for hanging in there with me.) But she was there asking me about my life since I had seen her last. And that’s all I can remember.

The visitors’ conversations are a blur, my neighborhood – which wasn’t my actual neighborhood – is a blur. I have no idea what else happened in this nightmare, but the details aren’t important anymore. What I learned from my nightmare is that it’s time to slow down. It’s time for me to start seeing the things I want to see and stop letting people and other things hinder me from doing exactly what I want. The real nightmare would come when I do have to go home in less than two months and have nothing accomplished beyond the skeleton of my list of things to do. It’s time to stop letting the minutes tick away and it’s time for my family to pick up and move to London.

The lesson here: Don’t fall asleep with your London guidebook and wake up with your iPod earphones choking you as The Beatles’ “Love Me Do” is playing.